Friday, February 18, 2011

"today my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if i'd notice. thanks to him, i've been sending dirty texts to my boss. the worst part is my boss was responding back. FML."

"today i got stuck in a small elevator. it started to violently judder up and down after i pressed the 'help buzzer' the man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML."

"today my wife was tired, so i gave her some quiet time, i took our daughters out grocery shopping. a woman at the store asked my four year old if she was having fun shopping with  her daddy. she answered, 'he's not my real daddy.' FML."

"today i found my mom eating cat biscuits. we don't have a cat. FML."

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