Monday, December 13, 2010

 This looks like so much fun right now!!!! Let's get in a pillow fight and stay up all night ;)
It is really annoying when it takes people an hour to text you back. It's like really? How hard is it for you to send a text? It takes a full 2 seconds and you only say like a sentence anyways but it takes you an hour. That is not okay. It is one of my pet peeves. Or when people say 'K'. thats like saying "fuck you i don't care what you are saying at all stop talking" it is really really annoying

Ugly children.

I want my baby to look exactly like this okay!?!?! I like the monkey face and the crazy ginger hair look its kinda hot. I mean really. Who wouldn't want to carry around this little bundle of joy and say "THIS IS MY BABY AND ITS THE CUTEST BABY IN THE WORLD!" I hate it when people do that... its like no. your baby is UGLY. I don't think a mom would be able to admit that. After 9 months you end up with an ugly baby. Bad genes? Luck of the draw? Maybe they will grow into it? How sad.. a face only a mother could love. 

I could really go for a grapefruit right now

Well this is interesting.

While me and Raquel were cleaning out her purse we discovered that there are instructions on how to put a condom on inside the box. So we decided to read it for laughs (don't worry... we weren't reading it for educational purposes... we aren't stupid in this department.) So we are chilling outside the nail place reading the condom box laughing our asses off because it is just like super funny to us for some reason. It's kinda one of those things like really? You should not be having sex if you have to read the inside of the box to learn how to put a condom on haha. Can you imagine you're like about to get it on and your guy is like- wait wait i don't know how to do this, lets read the directions. Oh my..... so here are the directions from the inside of the condom box. Just for laughs :p


Latex condoms are intended to prevent pregnancy , HIV/AIDS, and other sexually transmitted infections. Latex condoms reduce the risk of transmitting STIs by providing a barrier against the source of the infection. However, they do not completely eliminate the risks of pregnancy and STIs. For additional information on condoms, STI and pregnancy protection or if you believe you have an STI, contact a health care provider or public health agent.

DIRECTIONS: (there are diagrams too... but i obviously can't include those)

1) Use a new condom for every sex act. 
-Lesions, pre-ejaculate secretions, semen, vaginal secretions, and blood can all transmit infections.

2) Tear open the package carefully. Do not use fingernails, teeth, scissors, or anything that can damage the condom

3) Before an sexual contact, place condom on the head of the erect penis. Be sure the rolled-up ring is on the outside. And leave space at the tip to hold semen when you come. 

4) Squeeze tip gently so no air is trapped inside. Hold tip while you unroll the condom all the way to the base of the erect penis. If the condom doesn't unroll, it may be on backwards, damaged, or too old. Throw it away and start over with a new condom.

5) Immediately after ejaculation, hold the condom in place, withdraw the penis while it is still erect.
-Avoid spilling semen. 

6) Dispose of a used condom by wrapping it in a tissue and throwing it in the rash. Wash your hands and genitals and surrounding areas with soap and water.


- CAUTION: this product contains natural rubber which may cause allergic reactions. This product contains a lubricant. Some users are sensitive or allergic to lubricants. If you or your partner has had any reaction to latex rubber or lubricants, do not use this product. If either partner has any reaction to this product, stop use and see your doctor

- For additional lubrication, use a water based lubricant, DO NOT USE OIL-BASED LUBRICANTS, such as those made with petroleum jelly (e.g. vaseline) mineral oil, vegetable oil, or cold cream, as these may damage the condom. Avoid contact with talcum/baby powder because it may contain oil. 

-If the female partner is using vaginal products for medical treatment purposes, the condoms may be weakened and their effectiveness may be reduced

- Do not reuse condoms. Use a new condom for every sex act. 

-If the rubber material is sticky or brittle or obviously damaged, do not use the condom.

- If the color is uneven or changed, do not use the condom.

-Was hands as well as penis, vagina, and surrounding areas- before and after sex. This cuts the chance of infection. 

- Keep unused condoms in their packs in a cool, dry place (not in a wallet) 

- To avoid damage to furniture, do not place opened foil packet or used condom on any surface.

Look your best - who said love is blind? 

The new boyy

Just saw this picture and thought of glee. He's the new boy. And they always manage to find a way to make him naked in the show hahahha just an observation. He's always at the gym or taking a bath or in the shower or changing or in rocky horror etc. but he ALWAYS manages to have a scene written in where hes shirtless. Haha i think its funny

I love winter

I love winter. You get to make ginger bread houses and decorate them and christmas cookies and you get to wear jeans every day and uggs and big sweatshirts and cute jackets and sweaters and wear cute boots and go ice skating and cuddle all day and look at christmas lights and winter break and see your breathe in the air when you walk around and drink hot chocolate and go on starbucks runs and sometimes it rains and you get to be all warm and cozy and light the fireplace and get snowflakes painted on your acrylics and make homey food like beef stew and stuff and it is lovely. simply lovely.

People are dumb asses.

Sunday afternoon. 80 degrees. Cruisin with the top down in the mustang with my sunglasses on listening to music on the way to the mall. I come over a hill going 60. Then slow down to 40. I'm going in the turn lane and the light is green. So i'm not slowing down. Lane next to me. 10 cars back. Red light. Completely stopped. This lady with like 3 kids in her car decides to pull in front of me. And isn't stopping. I am like slamming on the break my mom is screaming. And she doesn't stop she keeps coming into my lane. I end up like a foot away from the side of her car. With kids in it. And i am like oh my god i am going to kill her family i am going to wreck my favorite car ever and am going to end up in the hospital. Oh my god. I get the car to stop. Like inches away from her car. She just drives through the light. That is now yellow. I almost get in a car accident. The lady drives away. And i get stuck at the light. Oh my god scariest fucking thing of my life. People are stupid. 

Word of the day

the act of killing every 20th person.

Amazing ƸӜƷ

I love my girls so much... they are amazing and i am so lucky to have them in my life and this song is for emily and jen <3 you two are like sisters to me and i love you so much and i was listening to this and it made me think of you guys

The morning cold and raining,
dark before the dawn could come
How long in twilight waiting
longing for the rising sun
ohoh ohoh Oh ooh

You came like crashing thunder
breaking through these walls of stone
You came with wide eyed wonder
into all this great unknown
ohoh ohoh Ohoooh Oohh

Hush now don't you be afraid
I promise you I'll always stay
I'll never be that far away
I'm right here with you

You're so amazing you shine like the stars
You're so amazing the beauty you are
You came blazing right into my heart
You're so amazing you are...
You are

You came from heaven shining
Breath of God still flows from fresh on you
The beating heart inside me
Crumbled at this one so new
ohoh ohoh Oooh ooohhh

No matter where or how far you wander
For a thousand years or longer
I will always be there for you
Right here with you

You're so amazing you shine like the stars
You're so amazing the beauty you are
You came blazing right into my heart
You're so amazing you are...

I hope your tears are few and fast
I hope your dreams come true at last
I hope you find love that goes on and on and on and on and on
I hope you wish on every star
I hope you never fall too far
I hope this world can see how wonderful you are

You're so amazing you shine like the stars
You're so amazing the beauty you are
You came blazing right into my heart
You're so amazing...

You're so amazing you shine like the stars
You're so amazing the beauty you are
You came blazing right into my heart
You're so amazing you are...
You are

Disneyland... Happiest place on earth?

Disneyland. OOHH EMMM GGGEEEZZZZ. haha i don't see the big deal. We go every year for my mom's work christmas party thing and hang out and get to see everyone and all the kids and everything and this year i decided I wanted to see how many weird people I saw. I saw hundreds. Disneyland is bizarre.

1) Ladies with baggy rainbow pants and satin wide leg pajama pants and pink hair. These were big ladies. And there were more than a few of them this was bad. Like bad bad. Who the fuck wears that? They looked like biker chicks trying to look like Jeffry Star and Lady Gaga and Katy Perry it was weird. I was kinda scared. They looked like they were going to eat me and spit me out looking worse than them. I was bookin it to get away from them

2) The chubbiest family of my life. They were short. And round. Like I'm talking blueberry status. Think Agustus Gloop from Willy Wonka status. There was a mom a dad and a kid. They got off the tram and the kid- who happened to be unusually thin for a 4 year old boy and had chubby parents.. must have been adopted- was whining to his mom at 10 AM about how he wanted a lolly pop the mom was bitching at him saying in some annoying parrot kinda accent "NO! YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL AFTER LUNCH" and then she was like "Hunny... wasn't the park supposed to be right here after we got off the tram" He responded "No we have to walk there and she was like "Oh no... we have to WALK!?!?!" These people were out of breathe 10 steps off the tram. I just wanted to say oh honey you are going to have a long day.

3) Crazy italian woman screaming at her kids and running over people with her stroller. She looked like an older, uglier version of Snookie. And she ran over my foot with her stroller and yelled at me for being in her way. What the hell is wrong with this woman??? Lets pick a fight at disneyland. That sounds like fun. She's the type to pull the earrings out and just deck someone. So i let her go.

4) Short spikey red hair. Think boy cut. With two "pig tails" on the top. They looked more like chunks of hair impersonating devils horns to me. Rainbow colored eye shadow. Stripes. One stripe of yellow. One stripe of orange next to it kinda thing. Soo hot. Green V neck. No boobs. 1000 beaded bracelets all over her arms, "chains" hanging from her stud belt, a sash... Wide leg pants. and im talkin WIDE LEG like are those a sumo wrestler's pants from the 60's???? They are huge with a flare at the bottom? With pink stitching. Her sketchers shapeups peeking out. Her pants were a bit too short. And cows. Cows. Stitched onto her pants. You know like the iron on badges and stuff girl scouts have on their vests? COWS. ON HER JEANS. enough said. And she was with these guys that looked like they were from the mob. Shaved heads. Big guys and one smaller guy who looked kinda sketchy. Black. Bandanas around the heads. Scars. Tats. OH MY GOD. AT DISNEYLAND!?!?!??!?!

5) Gross nerds in orange shirts and camo jackets. Typical kid in the front row who knows everything.. or the one in the back everyone is afraid has a hit list. Walking by picking his nose. Full on. Like his finger must have been at his brain. And he looks at it. Shows his friend. And keeps going. Kids are messed up. Too bad he was like 18

6) The dorky college guys with the two hot blondes messing with whoopie cushions in Pirates of the Caribbean. How old are you? You aren't going to get laid that way?

7) Ladies who try and be MILFS. No. Wearing stilettos and crop tops with sequined mini mouse ears doesn't make you look hot. It makes you look like you are trying to be hot. You are 50 not 20 and your stomach has stretch marks and you have a muffin top your heels look stupid and im sure your feet are killing you and the ears make you look like you are trying to make disneyland sexy. Well. You failed. Epically. Good job. You made me laugh.

8) Crazy obese mexican woman with 5 kids screaming in spanish in line and disciplining her children. Glad thats not my mommy.

9) Asians taking myspace pixxx. Smile close your eyes and do a peace sign YAAAAAHHH!! So cool.. So cool... i love tourists.

10) Lady with piercings on the back of her neck. Short hair. Like what everyone would call "lesbian hair" even though thats not very nice i dont know how else to explain it.  Bigger woman. Goth. Like she would beat the shit out of me.  Pedophile/murderer looking husband. He just looked scary. Buying popcorn and kissing each other and smiling. I was confused.

11) A lady who looked like the female version of Albus Dumbledore.

I LOVE DISNEYLAND. People are weird and they scare me. These were a few of the good ones. Just thought I would share.

Wow i am so smart

So i love how my new years resolution for this year was to stay out of trouble. Hahaha that is a joke. I was grounded after the 2nd. January 1st at 12 AM, Daddy I am going to be good this year. Later that day. I fuck it up. and it has gone downhill since then. I mind as well say my new years resolution is to live my life regret free and be happy. That isn't saying i will stay out of trouble hahahha so this year is almost over. 2010. Wow what an interesting year... I just want to get through the rest of this year and then start over. Okieee???


All that i ask is that you make him happy. That you hold his hand when everything is going wrong. That you make him smile even on his worst days. That you kiss him in the rain and laugh at his jokes that aren't even funny. That you love him unconditionally. That you love him the way I loved him. But i don't think you are capable of that. Because he was my world. But I wasn't his. And now he's yours and not mine. So hold on to the moments you have. Kiss long. Talk often. Because as much as it hurts to see you with him I know that he is happy. And that is all that I want.