Tuesday, April 19, 2011

i will not be triumphed over

dreaming in cloudless skies and scorching suns
among desert flowers blooms and golden sands
sleeping cool nights away, praying with nuns
in mission halls, the priest at the stand
sister eve hung a rosary on the door to avert
the ghosts so they can not pale pink cheeked roses
of childish girls wearing black checked skirts
dancing and twirling practicing poses
reveries of my western desperado
i pray to see your shadow in the sunset
you're as wild as francisco coronado
playing your days like a game of russian roulette
leaving me in the hands of a work hardened man
a blur of moving camel strides across gold sand

i wish we could go back to hippie days. i was born a few generations late

i never gave you a reason not to trust me

no one's a virgin- life fucks us all

let's all just go shopping, drink coffee, and travel the world

dirt and glitter cover the floor 
we're pretty and sick we're young and we're bored

sometimes you think you need to disappear 
when all you really want is to be found

you can chain me, you can torture me
you can even destroy this body
but you will never imprison my mind

miss the days of watching cartoons sunday morning. of not eating too much sugar because we weren't allowed. of blue iced cupcakes and dressing up in fairy wings in the back yard. i miss the days when i was a chef, turning out mud pies like mad, playing pretty pretty princess and candy land and house. you can be the daddy. for today. and i get to be the mommy with my real life baby. i miss furbies and ring pops and star sunglasses and cute bikinis when i weighed 50 pounds. and grinning and being a ham for pictures. i miss giant lollipops and dumbo and meeting princesses at disney land. i miss when the only thing that hurt was falling off your bike and scraping your knee. bandaids fixed everything then. there were no worries in life. i miss the naivety. i miss the innocence. i miss chasing lady bugs and searching for four leaf clovers when boys had cooties playing soccer with everyone and when you would hold lady bugs in your hand and then let them fly away. i miss when everything was new and exciting. i wish i was a kid again.

the truth is you could slit my throat 
and with my one last gasping breath 
i'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

you are the only reason i am still standing here, if you left when you said you were going to i would have been long gone. but you keep lingering and i can't seem to make myself leave

when you get brought up, i look up so the tears wouldn't shed
i say that classic line "i'm fine"

the devil cries all through the night, says this feels like a nightmare
well i was always told you're a liar and not to trust

it's sad how the only way 
of keeping your mouth shut 
is super glue

trust no man, fear no bitch

do what you want and don't let anyone
keep you from following your heart

did it hurt when you fell 
from the whore tree 
and banged every guy 
on the way down?

but now i see what my past life,
a beautiful time, drunk off nothing but
each other till the sunrise

everybody talks and everybody listens and somehow
the truth always comes up missing

thanks for the memories, even thought they weren't so great
he tastes like you only sweeter

i wanna be a man.

i love marion cotillard. she is amazing.

for every stoplight i didn't make
every chance i did or i didn't take
all the nights i went too far
all the girls that broke my heart
all the doors that i had to close
all the things i knew but i didn't know
thank god for all i missed
cause it led me here to this

i think i am finally coming to terms 
with the fact i am albino.

so good, but it's back to square one.

if someone really loves you, they wouldn't let you slip away
no matter how hard the situation is.

used to have a heart, now i'm nothing but hollow

the difference between you and me is
you think if all the reasons why not to
and i think of all the ways how to

when things fall apart sometimes it's worth it to stop and put the pieces back together

watched the fighter this weekend- i am honestly in love with the movie now, it was soooo goooooddd ahh and the acting is just perfect. they portray exactly who the people are and i love it.

be who you wanna be 
and don't listen to what anyone else 
has to say about it

i love hypocrites.

not religious but it made me laugh


cause i may be bad but i'm perfectly good at it
sex in the air i don't care i love the smell of it
sticks and stones may break my bones
but chains and whips excite me

oh god. don't you love how they go from 
S.O.S to talking about sex and chains and whips.

why do bad things happen to good people

hold your head up there's a light in the sky
i know you're fed up, but you must try to survive
each moment's precious, don't let life pass you by
keep focused keep your eyes on the prize

learned my lesson.

funny how the people that you thought you could always trust are the ones that always end up letting you down.

yummmmmm- i love colorful fruit it's more fun to eat

you move like theft and film noir

i want a mini rhubarb pie!@*$&^#@

wear cute undies!

if you love someone you have to let them go

lady gaga needs to be institutionalized

from ash to phoenix, rise and rise again

Thoughts on Satan: well.... i don't talk to my ex any more, so i don't really have thoughts on Satan. that is a really good question though. I wonder what satan's name is. did he just drop it and shorten it to satan when he was known wold wide as being the fucked up symbol of hell and evil or something? kinda like usher and beyonce did when they got famous or what?

have you ever been in love? horrible isn't it? love takes hostages, it get inside you. it eats you out and leave you crying in the darkness, so simple and maybe we should be just friends turns into a knife working its way into your heart. not just in the imagination, no just in the mind. it gets - inside- you- and- rips- you- apart. pain. i hate love

love is like heaven but it can hurt like hell

i really want to find a pair of really high floral espadrilles!!!

Why do they call it PMS???

....because mad cow was taken....

things to do when you are bored:

1. drive around with the top down and the windows open blasting music with no idea what you are doing
2. find weird places to hang out.... let's say a secret bench that no one knows about? i've got one of those
3. dance on kitchen counters singing at the top of your lungs
4. do funny things with kitchen appliances- for example. use tongs as a spare hand and a spatula as a sword.
5. lay sideways on the couch and try and balance and see the world from a new perspective. if you fall i'm really sorry, i am not liable for the stupid things you do or you cracking your head open on tile from having bad balance
6. play with kitty cats that are vicious and like to try and eat you. better yet play with them by confusing them with food... like ritz crackers. make it move so the cat freaks out
7. flip a coin at every intersection. left is heads and right is tails. see where you end up. make sure you have a GPS to get home...
8. Kiss at every red light. No exceptions.
9. paint your nails make them crazy colors and designs. it's fun and people think you are completely insane if you go in public with weird nails
10. if you are tan.. compare tans. if you are albino this will depress you.

drama lies and tears- cheers to the teenage years


just cause you have a camera and a funky lens 
doesn't make you a photographer

what defines us is how well we rise after falling

 she needs a filter from her brain to her mouth.

a smile is the best makeup any girl could have

i never loved you.
 i loved the man i thought you were

everything's good til it goes bad and you're going to tell all the people about the fun you used to have, it hurts when it don't last

you hurt the right person, you be wrong all your life

sunshine on a cloudy day

being a real man doesn't mean you fuck 100 girls. being a real man means you fight for the one girl, even when 99 other are chasing you

Chipotle: orgasmic. 

think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy

i was your girl, i gave you my world, my everything, but you couldn't see. i had your back, i backed you up, but whatever i did was never enough

women who behave rarely make history

i hate those moments right before you go to sleep where you are forced to think about all the things you try so hard to forget

and by "k" i mean fuck you

i wanna take this kid home and marry him.

experience is the name every one gives their mistakes

before you're going to call me a slut or a whore, look at every other girl around here and try counting the guys they've had sex with then rethink calling me that.

people are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges

it's not who you are who holds you back. 
it's who you think you're not.

it's amazing how at one point in our lives we will be extremely close with someone and then later they will become a complete stranger. you will pass by them without a word. without a single acknowledging look. this person, who once knew you so well, who once knew your fears, your desires, your dreams, your past is now walking right past you, seeing right through you

actions speak louder than words.

i got ice in my veins
blood in my eyes
hate in my heart
love in my mind
i seen nights full of pain
days of the same

you keep the sunshine, save me the rain.

getting these next <333

you're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul

inside all of us is a wild thing.

they say you don't know what you had until it's gone. the truth is you knew you had it you just never thought you would lose it

afraid of an unlived life. you don't have to live forever you just have to live

if you could only see how beautiful you are

i can do all things through him who strengthens me

she's not a saint and she's not what you think she's an actress, she's better known for the things she does on the mattress.

follow close young one 

stop wasting your wishes on young love and broken hearts

sometimes i really want to be a butterfly and just float away. don't you wish it could be that easy? that everything just go back to the way it needs to be? that you can run away when the world falls down.  life would be easier, but no one ever told us that life was going to be easy. they just said that it was worth living.