Sunday, December 19, 2010

Throne of Lies


i love buddy the elf. he makes me happy

reinterpretation


"I’m not always as confident as I seem. There are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don’t want to talk about what is bothering me. Sometimes I just want a hug. Someone who will let me cry. I like when boys cry in front of me - when people aren’t afraid to show what they’re really feeling. I don’t like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn’t do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. I know what it’s like to see something funny and not laugh. I’ve been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart. And my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does. Ever."

i read this. and for some reason it made me think. i have seen a few people blog this passage and i am going to write my own version. so here it goes:

i am confident. i am confident in my opinions. i stand up for my beliefs. i enjoy being strong and independent. i have my issues with myself and i have days where i just want to cry. but i am not insecure. i dont want to be held. it makes me feel weak. i love to cuddle its one of my favorite things to do but i dont want to be held, i dont want to be babied. i dont want to cry. all i want to do is smile. i want someone who will make me laugh when everything seems to be going wrong. i dont like when people cry. i can deal with it. but i dont like to see people cry. to see people hurt. i like deep conversations and when people tell me whats one their mind but i dont want to see them sad. i think some people get hurt by their feelings and sometimes it is easier to look past them then dwell on them. i dont think you should deny them. but i think that you shouldnt have to talk about every little thing.  i dont wear my heart on my sleeve. i dont trust people enough for that. if i care about you i will tell you. i am not naive. i know how it feels to be completely broken and i know all too well how it feels to be hurt. i laugh when i think something is funny. but sometimes it is an empty laugh. i have been taken advantage of ive been used ive been abused. me feelings have been blatantly disregarded. i believe that some people have a good heart but others have bad intentions. i have no trust any more. i have a giant wall that you have to break down to get in. i am that way because trust leads to hurt



remember when you used to look at me and smile and say i love you? when you'd kiss my hair and randomly pick me up and give me piggy back rides? remember when you used to tell me that you wanted to grow old with me- when we talked about getting married and that dream house of ours and honeymooning on a beach somewhere in greece or jamaica? remember when you'd walk me to the door and kiss me good night? and you couldn't seem to walk away because you knew you'd miss me a few seconds after the door was closed? Remember when i was your everything and you'd treat me like a princess? You would say that you were so lucky to have me in your life. Remember the starbucks runs and our movie nights and ordering pizza at 10 pm? Do you remember the way it felt after we kissed when we'd still be laying there eyes unfocused noses touching? Do you remember the first time we said i love you? Because now we walk past each other and act like we never spoke. We avert our eyes and look at the ground or send a text message instead of smiling and saying hello. Do you remember me? Because i used to be your world.

Just wanna see you smile


i love seeing that smile on your face. when everything seems to be falling apart you are always there for me to hold my hand and tell me it will be okay even when i think its not. you deserve to be happy.

don't let me like him any more

I get a text from my friend. 
"Me and so and so are done"
like done done?
"yes. its over for good" 
why???
" we just dont care any more. time to move on ya know?"
yaaa i get it.
"don't let me like him any more."
well i can't do that... i dont have that kind of power
"make me not like him"
okay. ill do my best with that one
"whatever. time to move on. just no spark. hes just going to talk shit on me"
don't say that. no he won't
"he is though."

FUCK BOYS. DON'T DO THAT TO GIRLS. IT IS DICK.

Come cuddle with me

I want to lay in bed and cuddle all day with the boy i like. too bad i can't. blahhhh this is cuddle weather and i am not cuddling with anyone right now and its depressing me. someone come cuddle with me right now please? Im sitting on the couch under like 3 blankets watching a movie and drinking hot chocolate. hahahhaaa i love this weather but not when im by myself. then its just depressing.

insomnia


insomnia |inˈsämnÄ“É™|
noun
habitual sleeplessness; inability to sleep.
DERIVATIVES
insomniac |-nÄ“ËŒak| noun adjective
ORIGIN early 17th cent.: from Latin, from insomnis‘sleepless,’ from in- (expressing negation) + somnus‘sleep.’

ITS 2 AM

its 2 am. i can't sleep. i keep thinking about this week and wondering why everything is the way it is. i go from being so happy to being miserable. its like a roller coaster with huge ups and downs. its not very fun. but i was happy today. its raining outside. and the glare of the christmas lights is reflecting off the roof. tomorrow is going to be a good day. i am going to make it a good day.

Yellow.


Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know for you i bleed myself dry
For you i bleed myself dry

Its true look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine
look at the stars look how they shine for you 

BUDDY THE ELF

I LOVE YOU!!! I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU!!!

Just the way you are!

Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying 
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day

Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are(yeah)

Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me
Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day

Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok
You know I'll say

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are
The way you are, the way you are
Girl you're amazing, just the way you are

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Yeah