Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I AM THINKING IT’S A SIGN THAT THE FRECKLES IN OUR EYES ARE MIRROR IMAGES AND WHEN WE KISS THEY’RE PERFECTLY ALIGNED.

WORD OF THE DAY!!!

malediction |ˌmaləˈdik sh ən|nouna magical word or phrase uttered with the intention of bringing about evil or destruction; a curse.DERIVATIVESmaledictive |-ˈdiktiv| adjectivemaledictory |-ˈdiktərē| adjectiveORIGIN late Middle English : from Latinmaledictio(n-), from maledicere ‘speak evil of.’

I don't like you Mommy

IM CLEARLY NOT OKAY SO WHY ARE YOU ASKING SUCH A STUPID QUESTION.


I HATE WHEN PEOPLE ASK WHAT'S WRONG AND DO THE WHOLE "AWWWW OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY?! WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT'S WRONG" I JUST WANT TO BE LIKE- NO. IM NOT OKAY. SO WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME SUCH A STUPID QUESTION. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. YOU ARE NOT MY THERAPIST. I DONT WANT YOUR PITY HUGS. I WANT YOU TO MAKE ME SMILE GOD DAMN IT. DON'T TRY AND GET THROUGH IT WITH ME. MAKE ME LAUGH!!! THATS WHAT I REALLY NEED. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. I JUST WANT TO LAUGH. BECAUSE LAUGHING IS EASIER THAN CRYING. CRYING JUST MAKES ME FEEL STUPID. BUT DON'T ASK ME IF I'M OKAY WHEN I'M CLEARLY NOT... YOU KNOW. I THINK THAT WHEN PEOPLE SAY "ARE YOU OKAY?" THEY ARE A) TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED, PEOPLE LOVE THE DRAMA. B) SEEING YOU UPSET MAKES THEM FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES...IT HONESTLY DOES AND DON'T DENY THAT. I MEAN REALLY. WHEN PEOPLE ARE LIKE AWWW ARE YOU OKAY? THEY ARE CLEARLY FINE AND YOU ARE CLEARLY NOT. SO IT MAKES THEM FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES BECAUSE YOU ARE FALLING APART AND THEY ARE TOTALLY FINE. C) ASKING TO HEAR YOUR PROBLEMS BECAUSE IT MAKES THEIR PROBLEMS SOUND SO MUCH SMALLER IN COMPARISON. 20% OF PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT IS WRONG. 60% FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES BECAUSE YOU ARE MISERABLE 15% THINK YOU LOOK STUPID AND NEED TO SUCK IT UP AND ARE THINKING OHHH BOO! YOU WHORE! SHUT UP AND STOP CRYING YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. AND THE OTHER 5% ARE YOUR REAL FRIENDS AND THEY GENUINELY CARE.. BUT EVEN THEY APPLY TO THE OTHER 95%. HOW SAD. 

REMEMBER THE ONES YOU LOVED AND REMEMBER THE ONES YOU'VE LOST.
STOP LIVING LIFE WITH EXPECTATIONS. BECAUSE EXPECTATIONS WILL ONLY LEAD TO DISAPPOINTMENT. BE FREE. SLEEP UNDER THE STARS. SWING UNTIL YOU TOUCH THE SUN. DREAM. NEVER STOP DREAMING. BECAUSE ONCE YOU STOP DREAMING YOU STOP BEING A CHILD AND THEN WHAT WOULD BE THE FUN OF LIVING?

helloooo if you want me to blog about something specific or if you want to tell me anything about my blog go ahead and email me at runningrecklesss@aol.com. i'll check it and see what i can do :)

now i see.

im finally starting to realize you aren't all the things i thought you were. im my mind i made you perfect- i made you everything i wanted you to be. but that isn't who you are at all. so its time to let go. its time to move on. its time to be free. glad i realized my perception was off.

Hey Jude


this makes me happy ahhhaha cute kid :)
take a picture of that smile because i dont think you'll be seein it for a while

supposed to grow old



You broke my heart,
When you said goodbye
And only you can lift my spirit
You gave me wings and now you're gone 

Well I'm crying inside,
A thousand tears every time I think of you
Lock the pictures away,
Hide the letters too,
Anything to get my mind off you 

You just walked by me like nothing ever happened
When you said you would rescue me if I was ever falling
Well now baby there's no way that you could have forgotten all of the memories
I thought we shared
We were supposed to grow old 

Tell me how can I look up at the moon,
When I know that moon shines upon you
Through that window in your room
Oh how I wish I had you in my arms see darling I would never let you go 

the best love is the kind that weakens the soul and makes us reach for more-- that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. ♥

Yeah, I understand what you're saying
You want something rough
Yes
You want something very loud
Yes
You want something to bang your head on
Yes
Ah, you mean probably something like this...
......haha this makes me laugh......

done.



SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER CARING. YOU SMILE YOU TELL ME YOU LOVE ME... I KNOW YOU DON'T. SO WHY DO I CARE? WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT YOU? YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME SO WHY SHOULD I BOTHER CARING ABOUT YOU. WE HOLD HANDS YOU TELL ME I'M CUTE YOU WALK AROUND WITH YOUR ARMS AROUND ME WE KISS WE TALK ALL DAY LONG AND ALL NIGHT WE SAY WE WISH WE WERE WITH EACH OTHER. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CARE. SO SHOULD I JUST GIVE UP? BECAUSE I AM MAKING AN EFFORT AND I DON'T THINK YOU ARE ANY MORE. AND THAT'S WHAT HURTS THE MOST. YOU SAY YOU CARE BUT YOU ACT LIKE I AM JUST SOME OTHER GIRL. AND THAT IS SOMETHING I NEVER WANTED. I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING. AND YOU HAVE LEFT ME WITH BROKEN PROMISES AND AN EMPTY SMILE.


SOMETIMES SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING REALLY SMALL AND IT JUST FITS RIGHT INTO THIS EMPTY PLACE IN YOUR HEART 

she stood with a horrified look on her face, knowing that life as she'd know it had come to an end. there was no long room for dreaming. only reality.

insomnia.

well its 2:40 in the morning and i cant sleep so i decided to make a list of things to do when you can't sleep but want to and are trying to think of ways to crash:

1- eat. eat like all the stuff that makes you tired. you know, like after thanksgiving dinner when you just want to die because you are so full and fall asleep on the couch. eat like that.

2- take a bubble bath. its relaxing. just don't fall asleep in the tub you might drown.

3- start an art project, write something, color

4- waste an hour hitting refresh on facebook nothing on your newsfeed will change- so you'll get bored and go to bed

5- watch a chick flick they are boring and would make you rather want to sleep than watch them

6- listen to music in the dark you will fall asleep in 20 minutes tops

7- read some trashy magazine like cosmopolitan its so fun to read because it is so dirty and no one is there to yell at you when you start reading all the sex tips haha

8- clean your room, mind as well be productive

9- shop online, its a good way to waste time

10- read random crap online like FML its hilarious

Charlie bit my finger

I COMPARE YOU TO A KISS FROM A ROSE ON THE GREY. THE MORE I GET OF YOU, STRANGER IT FEELS AND NOW THAT YOUR ROSE IS IN BLOOM, A LIGHT HITS THE GLOOM ON THE GREY.

They weren't there




You breathed infinity into my world 
And time was lost up in a cloud and in a whirl. 
We dug a hole in the cool grey earth and lay there for the night. 
Then you said, "wait for me we'll fly the wind, 
We'll grow old and you'll be stronger without him" but oh, 
Now my world is at your feet. I was lost and I was found, 
But I was alive and now I've drowned. 
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song 
So they can tell me I was wrong... 

But they weren't there beneath your stare, 
And they weren't stripped 'till they were bare of 
Any bindings from the world outside that room. 
And they weren't taken by the hand 
And led through fields of naked land 
Where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away... 
So I couldn't say "no". 

You sighed and I was lost in you, weeks could've past for all I knew. 
You were there blanket of the over-world and so I couldn't say, 
I wouldn't say "no". But they all said, "you're too young to even know, 
Just don't let it grow and you'll be stronger without him" 
But oh, now, my world is at your feet. I was lost and I was found, 
But I was alive and now I've drowned. 
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song 
So they can tell me I was wrong... 

But they weren't there beneath your stare, 
And they weren't stripped 'till they were bare 
Of any bindings from the world outside that room. 
And they weren't taken by the hand and led through fields 
Of naked land where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away... 

But they weren't there beneath your stare, 
And they weren't stripped 'till they were bare 
Of any bindings from the world outside that room. 
And they weren't taken by the hand and led through fields 
Of naked land where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away... 
So I couldn't say "no". 

hmm....

sometimes i fall down. but i always get back up. sometimes i feel weak but i always put a smile on my face and stand up and say i'm okay. sometimes i feel broken, but i don't like to cry. i've never liked to cry. so i pick myself up and keep walking. life movies on. everyone has their moments but those moments pass and you see what is beautiful see what is worth smiling about in life. sometimes you need to wake up. look at yourself in the mirror and say i'm beautiful- i'm confident- i like my life. even if you don't. because you are supposed to smile at life. not be miserable.

miss you



all i wanna do is smile. and somehow you are the only one that can make me. i don't know what it is about you- maybe its that stupid little sideways grin that spreads across your face or the look you get in your eyes when i look at you. i've always loved the way it felt holding your hand and when i'd run my fingers through your hair. i haven't smiled in a while babe, and i kinda miss it. i'm starting to feel a little lost a little empty- maybe its because i only felt whole when i was with you. getting piggy back rides because i forgot my shoes and the pavement was too hot, laying on the side walk with my head in your lap, having you pick me up and spin me in circles with a flower in my hair. Somehow i can't seem to forget how good it felt with you. How happy i was with you in my life. but you are long gone. Wish i could ask you to come back. but i think i hurt you one too many times didn't i?

you were right. you've always been right.