Sunday, December 12, 2010

LOOK MOMMY! SHE LOOKS LIKE BARBIE!


Okay, so i am at the grocery store. I am in my pajamas. I came for poptarts okay? And this lady is walking next to me. And she is blonde. Like blonde blonde. Like oh my god did you buy that out of a box? blonde. Like blonder than Gaga blonde. And she's got on her Juicy sweats. Pink. Of course. And the crop top. thats pink too. Belly button piercing. Fake tan. Like oh my god? did you mean to look that orange? you look like a fucking oompa loompa! tan. Stomach showing. Major cleavage with the leopard straps. Like did you buy a fucking bombshell bra from victoria's secret? status.  Did you want to have your boobs go up to your neck? Watch she probably did. shes probably like an A or a B and now she's a D because of that bra or she got a boob job. That's probably it. So in that case. Shes like a triple E. She's got the huge glossy lips. Injected? The perfect nose. Where'd you get it done? The dark eye shadow with the liquid eye liner to give her cat eyes. The huge diamond earrings and the cute little tiffanys bracelet with her wedding ring. I have money. Can you tell? She's on her iphone talking in a very fake, annoying voice. She turns around. Juicy written in rhinestones on her ass. Little girl walks by. "Mommmy! Look! SHE LOOKS LIKE BARBIE! BUT SHE'S OLD!" Way to try and be a MILF. You failed miserably. 

Booobiesss



Hahaha this made me laugh. So guys, just wondering. When you are hooking up with multiple girls, do you guys really send each other texts like this? Because if so... that is so wrong and so hilarious. Guess it's a good thing that i'm not the 32A im the other one.. I don't have to worry about disappointing anyone because I am a "regular". And you know the girl is sitting there going Oh my god! Chad* is over. and the guy is like, SEX? alright i'm down. But as soon as she's off the rag I'm going back to the chick with big boobs.

Sugarland - Stay


Im not a big fan of country music but this is amazing

Please tell me that there is some truth behind those pale gray eyes and that faint little smile that is spread across your face. I don't think I can bare any more disappointment. 

Look its the baby turtle from finding nemo


Awwwwwwwwwwwwww isn't it cute!?!?!?! i want a little baby turtle that will sit in my hand and smile at me. That would make me so very happy. It looks like the little baby turtle from finding nemo... you know the one thats always like DUUUUUDDDEEEE ddduuuddeee DUUUUUDEEEEE and saying nogin and shit haha but its real not animated hehe awwww im in love with it look how adorable. It would probably eat my hand or something

im bored and im rambling.


Its true. When you're not around i really don't know where to go.. what to do.. what to say. I don't know who to talk to when I'm up at 3 AM or what to eat when I am  looking in my refrigerator. You are my decision maker... You were my decision maker. And now I am so indecisive. I am so weird. Without you here no street seems crowded and my phone never rings.  It is a lonely existence without you in my life. I don't know what kind of juice to buy i only remember the kind of poptarts you like and I am beginning to feel a little bit lost without you. And my world is starting to spin in circles and i keep wishing you were here to hold my hand and to make me jump. But i can't find you. I can never find you. It makes me sad.

The pre-party


I think that getting ready is sometimes actually more fun than going to the event. I mean really, when you think about it, sitting around in your house with your girlfriends trying to decide what to wear, doing your hair and your makeup and your nails, picking out your shoes walking around in them and your bra and underwear, curling your hair and putting on your eyeliner is so much fun! Or at least I have fun with it. Its like the pre-excitement for the event and getting to hang out and get ready and take pictures. I love it. It is one of my favorite things hahhaha

WORD OF THE DAY


TIBIALOCONCUPISCENT 

HAVING THE LASCIVIOUS INTEREST IN WATCHING A WOMAN PUT ON STOCKINGS


Shirtless guys with sunglasses, tans, tattoos, and a face like that? Always good in my book