i act like shit don't phase me

inside it drives me crazy

just another story... obviously not the picture the story is based off but i think you'll get the picture haha

Jennings told me to make it perfect. I hated this magazine and editing these pictures. The whole industry was fake- they sold shit that was all airbrushed and cut apart to make the girls look like plastic dolls. Too bad I was the one who made everything look like that. As I stared at the large, glossy screen I couldn’t help but become wrapped around the images that appeared. The pictures were going to be vividly etched in my mind for a long time. For some reason, I couldn’t seem to let go of her face- it was as though it was going to be permanently burned into my thoughts. Her tawny colored hair whipped around her face, hanging against her porcelain skin. Greens, grays, and blues were spooled together to create a ribbon of colors in the irises of her eyes. Was the color azure blue? Or was is emerald green or dove gray? I couldn’t tell. A line of black eye liner rimmed the edges of her almond shaped eyes, complimented by smokey, black eye makeup and mascara that made her eye lashes look too long to be real. Her smile looked like it came from the toothpaste ad with full, pink lips that arched in two perfect bumps, separated in the center. She had long, silky hair that hung in loose curls around the edges of her face. A light cerulean blue, baby doll dress was held closely to her chest then flowed out, much like a wave when it crashes against rugged rocks on  a coast line- when the colors wash out and just leave a frothy white and light blue mixture, throwing an explosion of the water into the air. Her body was sprawled across the rocks. She looked godly, almost supernatural. You never saw this kind of beauty. She extended her neck, a little arch was formed in her back and her perfectly sculpted face was tilted back. The girl closed her eyes, seeming to absorb the sun’s rays. I wished I could know her, figure out what she’s like. I wanted to know what made her tick- how she really felt about things. This girl looked confident, unstoppable. I traced the contours of her body with my eyes. Perfection. Each line looked painted, like she was some kind of masterpiece God had created to make the rest of us on this damn planet envy her. I could picture the camera clicking in my mind, snapping the images as she posed for the photographer. She knew her stuff. Her body twisted and curved, bending and molding herself into positions I’d never seen before. All for a few pictures. I accentuated the concave in her back, thinning her already tiny waist and smoothed out the top of the dress that wrapped around her chest. The lines were smooth and long, shaped perfectly. Plastic. A silver chain hung around her neck, falling over those perfect collar bones that formed two, fragile lines beneath her skin. The bones framed the silver, heart shaped pendant that rested against her skin.  There was not a single freckle on her face or a blemish on her skin. I could see where a section of hair may have been blown by the wind, only to be immediately tucked back into place by the awaiting crew. Their job was only to make everything happen- get the snobby, hundred pound models their water, do their makeup, tie the little strings on the bikinis that were being modeled for Dolce and Gabanna’s new line, zipping up the dresses by Michael Kors and Versace, buckling on the thousand dollar heels by Jimmy Choo and making sure everything went as planned. I studied the picture a little harder. The girl looked exotic, her bronzed shoulders were pushed back as she arched her back much like a mermaid would in a movie as she basked playfully in the sunshine. Her statuesque beauty was thrilling. I let my eyes skim over the picture as I looked at it fondly. It was as though she was glowing. She was like a life sized barbie doll, someone who was too perfect to be real. It’s because she wasn’t. I smiled at the thought of the girl I remembered, knowing I would never see her again. That girl on the screen with the perfectly toned, slim body and proportioned features couldn’t be real. I had retouched every aspect of her image. Of course she looked better than before, how could she not. I couldn’t help but feel saddened by the fact that this extraordinary beauty could never be real, not in this world. I finally came to a conclusion. She was a goddess. 

I met her at a truck stop outside dallas 

she had white lilies in her hair 

she was dancing with a preacher

to a song in A minor

I'll never forget that smile

smile because i cant take this broken look in your eyes any more. it's killing me to see the life slowly drain from your smile. i just want to hear that soft little laugh and see the dimples on your cheeks because that's the girl i know. 

i know they say you can't go home again

i just had to come back one last time

ma'am, i know you don't know me from adam

but these hand prints on the front steps are mine

up those stairs in that little back bedroom

is where i did my homework and learned how to play the guitar

and i bet you didn't know that under that live oak

my favorite dog is buried in the yard.

i thought if i could touch this place or feel it

this brokenness inside me might start healing

out here its like i'm someone else

i thought that maybe i could find myself.

if i could just come in, i swear i'll leave

won't take nothing but a memory

from the house that built me

mama cut out pictures of houses for years

from "better homes and garden" magazine

plans were drawn and concrete poured

and nail by nail and board by board

daddy gave life to mama's dream

 i thought it i could touch this place or feel it

this brokenness inside me might start healing

out here it's like i'm someone else

i thought that maybe i could find myself

if i could just come in, i swear i'll leave

won't take nothing but a memory

from the house that built me

you leave home, you move on

and you do the best you can

i got lost in this whole world

and forgot who i am

i thought if i could touch this place or feel it

this brokenness inside me might start healing

out here it's like i'm someone else 

i thought that maybe i could find myself

if i could walk around, i swear i'll leave

won't take nothing but a memory

from the house that built me

please just shut up and eat a freakin cupcake. 

i got the Iphone 4 for Verizon and i must say... i love it!!! it is such a fun toy hahha i love the fact that you can have your phone, texting, email, internet, games, random apps, GPS, camera, etc etc etc all in one. it is so nice hahaha so if you are thinking about getting it... DO IT! it is amazing

all i've got left are these handfuls of fuck you.

kiss me.

i like it when you're sinful. i like it when you're wishful. i like when you get a little bit wild. i like it when you're crazy. i like that deadly little smile that spreads across your face i like the thrill of the chase.

sorry if i'm not being funny right now. sometimes i get tired of always being so mean and sarcastic about everything.... tell me if you would really like me to go back to being "funny" because i'll work on it for ya, but sometimes i like being a little serious

the night we walked every pavement in New York City

i have my loves, i have my doubts, i don't need this

We made a potato launcher in chemistry today. We took a picture of a guy Langlang didn't like from a football team and we shot chunks of potatps at it. We were learning about pressure so we made a potato launcher to demonstrate what happens with pressure. It was all good until people started launching potatoes at the ceiling and at the christian club posters on the door and at the girls working at the lab station by the door. We ended up walking out of class all covered in potato juice and laughing about who shot the potato and hit the football player he didn't like in the face with a huge chunk of potato haha normal day in 3rd period chemistry

I hate people who suck at driving its just scary watching them I mean really I owner how some of these people got their drivers licenses and how they Re still alive and havent killed anyone yet

valentine's day

what the hell is it. it's a day that revolves around love and flowers and candy hearts and chocolates.  it's when guys do cheesy things for their girlfriends and when everyone runs around holding hands and kissing. unless you are single. then it is literally the one day of the year when everyone feels like shit if they dont have a "special someone" where you dont want to see all the little heart shaped candies and the flowers and hear all the romantic date plans. personally. i am not looking forward to valentine's day this year. i'm not really looking forward to being alone on a day where you are supposed to be loving someone.

perfect strangers when we meet. strangers on the street. lovers while we sleep

this lipstick is mine

~ Always Anna ~

someday i'll find a way back into your arms. someday i'll find a way to get back to you. someday i'll find a way to make you see all the love we shared. someday i'll make you smile again. someday i'll wander back into your life and kiss you until the sun comes up.

let me see the light in your eyes

isnt it amazing how little girls grow up so fast?

I hate the stupid freshman who sit in the back Of classrooms and bitch about how they had such a "hard" weekend and stuff I really just want to slap them and then they proceed to make kissy faces while they take Pictures of themselves so hot. Yum

"so i'm in a museum and there's a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. colonial hazing."

when you're dreaming with a broken heart. the waking up is the hardest part. roll out of bed and down on your knees. and for a moment you can hardly breathe.

thank you for breaking my heart. thank you for walking all over me when i'm falling apart. thanks for reminding me of the memories we had. thank you for tearing me apart. thank you for watching as i begin to lose my heart.

tell me what you really see every time you look at me because i am beginning to wonder what i ever meant to you. please don't make me that girl... please don't make me the girl that everyone knows that you didn't really love. please don't make me see that you never really loved me. tell me why you said those things. tell me why i gave you everything i've got. tell me why you walked out and told me to wait for you and while i waited you moved on. tell me why you do these things to me because i am beginning to lose to a broken heart. i'm beginning to wonder and i'm falling apart. 

"one date. that's all it took. i want to have him genius babies in me. one date."

flirt |flərt|verb1 [ intrans. ] behave as though attracted to or trying to attractsomeone, but for amusement rather than with seriousintentions : it amused him to flirt with her.• ( flirt with) experiment with or show a superficial interest in (an idea, activity, or movement) without committing oneself to it seriously : a painter who had flirted briefly with Cubism.• ( flirt with) deliberately expose oneself to (danger or difficulty) : the need of some individuals to flirt with death.2 [ trans. ] (of a bird) wave or open and shut (its wings or tail) with a quick flicking motion.• [ intrans. ] move back and forth with a flicking or fluttering motion : the lark was flirting around the site.nouna person who habitually flirts.DERIVATIVESflirtation |-ˈtā sh ən| nounflirtatious |-ˈtā sh əs| adjectiveflirtatiously |-ˈtā sh əslē| adverbflirtatiousness |-ˈtā sh əsnəs| nounflirty ( flirtier , flirtiest ).ORIGIN mid 16th cent.: apparently symbolic, the elements fl-and -irt both suggesting sudden movement; compare with flickand spurt . The original verb senses were [give someone a sharp blow] and [sneer at] ; the earliest noun senses were [joke, gibe]and [flighty girl] (defined by Dr. Johnson as [a pert young hussey] ), with a notion originally of cheeky behavior, later of playfully amorous behavior.

imbecile–noun
a person of the second order in a former classification of mental retardation, above the level of idiocy, having a mental age of seven or eight years and an intelligence quotient of 25 to 50.

this is real. this is who i am. this is beauty. this is grace. this is real. this is me.

i hate cats. but kitties make everything better <3

i love when people think they have the cutest baby in the world and you just want to scream YOUR BABY IS UGLY but you couldn't do that because it would be mean, right? i mean, if someone honestly has a really ugly baby wouldn't it be wrong to lie and say it was cute?

i love cookiesssssss ;)

so you're telling me that you want something real? the problem is that you don't know what "real" is.

it's amazing how something that you are so looking forward to can get ruined so easily. how people you thought you know became people you knew. it's amazing how someone can do something so stupid and not even apologize for ruining everything. its amazing how easy it is to make mistakes and the consequences that follow. its amazing when you see who people truly are, and how they are not the people you thought they were. it's amazing how someone can betray your trust in only a few short moments, how a few seconds can break your heart, how something that happens in such a short amount of time can cause you so much pain. its amazing how easy it is to lose someone you love.

i could be giving you love, but you're not around

i needed this picture last night.

i change shapes just to hide in this place, but i'm still, i'm still an animal

Batman doesn't get picked on and he wears a cape....a cape is just a poncho that goes all the way around....

the late nights the water fights the midnight pizza runs and playing ping pong until 2 A.M. the shopping sprees the victorias secret bikinis the chronic tacos starbucks drive thrus with cute guys at the window who talk to you about how the thingie you put in the top of your coffee so it wont spill is called a splash stick and how there is a mermaid on it the jacuzzi seshes the study parties laughing until you cry or when someone tickles you so hard you wanna die the gates and the dates and our so called "fate" the basketball games and freezing standing at football games screaming as they run the ball down the field the corkys and wing stop nights and blasting music while stuck at stop lights playing lets get it on and livin la vida loca in the parking lot driving super slow the walks and the talks and the times we stayed up on the phone and cried the boy talks and the cakes you get because you got grounded and your friend wants to make you feel better the princess balloons and the pictures that you could never delete the pretend birthdays at cheesecake factory and trying on every single thing in your closet just because the power walks the gym floor discussions the times we laughed until we almost peed our pants the orbit gum the taco bell runs at 11 PM ferris wheel rides and going to see movies like harry potter just because the justin beiber and twilight haters the acrylics and hot cheetos and the pink nail polish called shrimply devine dressing up for the hell of it and being able to call this life mine

thank you for being beautiful

summer time breeze. cloudless blue skies. windows down. hair blowing in the breeze. music blasting. listening to the beat. driving too fast down the Blvd. palm trees. big open seas. living the life. welcome to paradise.

sometimes you've gotta do what you gotta do. sometimes you've gotta say what you've gotta say. but never give up on your morals. never give up on your values. never give up on your voice. because that's when you lose yourself. 

im making cupcakes for my birthday party.....

what you will need:
2 large bags of skittles
80 disposable little champagne glasses
cupcakes
frosting
feathers
picks (like martinin picks)
food coloring
pink sprinkle glitter stuff

take the champagne glasses and fill the bottom with skittles (all of the same color) then take the cupcake and put it on top that that and then the icing- died with the food coloring- and frost the top of the cupcake then sprinkle pink sugar glitter on top with a skewer with a feather hot glued on the end. haha YESSSS

sorry i havent been blogging a lot lately. i was super stressed with finals and now i'm done. thank god. i hate sitting in a room taking 200 question tests that are supposed to measure how much we learned during the semester. the studying. the 3x5 index cards and worn down pencil erasers with little pink shavings all over your desk from erasing so much. worried that you aren't going to get the grade you want. for a whole week. stressing over every little detail. so sorry i wasn't blogging im back <3

16 years young. i am still a baby. always the baby of the group. so i can officially date. i can go do things i could't do yesterday. there is more trust. i can get my license. i am a "big girl but im still a kid