I SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I AM UP TO NO GOOD

Saturday, January 1, 2011

can it be summer now??

what i am thankful for in 2010

i had a friend ask me to make a list of the top 50 things i was thankful for in 2010. so here it goes!!!

1)my family. i take advantage of you guys i do things that i shouldn't do. say things i shouldn't say. but you guys are always by my side no matter what.

2) "slow dancing in a burning room" by john mayer. somehow this song got me through 2010.

3) OCHSA. the school is crazy. no... it is insane. and i love it to death and miss it dearly. everyone there taught me so much. I learned a lot about myself, i learned about the way people work, that it is okay to be different, that you don't have to fit a stereo type, not to stereotype- so what if someone is gay or they like to dress up and change their names so they are the same as movie characters so what if a guy wants to be a fashion designer or do ballet. it is okay. it is okay to be who you truly want to be and not hide behind a mask. thats what OCHSA taught me. i have amazing friends there and i didnt really give it a chance at first but i regret that.

4) my notebook. it taught me how i think and gave me a numb feeling nothing else could give me.

5)starbucks. i would have died. thank you for the caffeine at 6 AM.

6)my camera. i love being able to capture a moment in time in a photograph.

7) chocolate covered strawberries. so yummy

8)the bus rides to OCHSA every morning and coming home from school. good writing material

9) my babiessss at Shea i don't get to see Jaidyn and Lauren any more because i'm not working there but those two little girls changed my life. not even joking. just seeing them smile made me appreciate so much.

10) mojo. i love my pupppyy he gets me through everything. i feel like i neglect him. and i kinda do. but he is my baby and i love him

11) my scrapbook- it reminds me of where i've been

12) jacuzzi nights with my girls. i miss them so much and i don't get to see them very often any more but they are my sisters and they always will be

13) USC. for sort of motivating me to study

14) rachel. for being my best friend. you are my rock.

15) breaks. i would die without weekend and breaks like summer and thanksgiving break. i'm not joking.

16) all the stupid people who constantly entertain me.

17) google. for making it so easy for me to find everything i need to find

18)Jen. for making me cakes and hugging me when i want to cry. i love you bitchhh you are amazing and you have such a good heart. i'm lucky i met you this year

19) sticky notes. i would forget everything without them

20)my fuzzy leopard slippers that i wear constantly now. i am in love with them

21) this blog. i can waste so much time on this thing which is not good but i love having the freedom to say what i want to say

22) emily s. for participating in fat tuesdays with me and jen and for all the talks we have. (by the way you and chase are adorable)

23)my ugg boots. that i wear every single day.

24) TAO. it is amazing. restaurant/ bar / club in vegas if you haven't been. go. now

25)the nights were you drive around blasting loud music and singing and dancing in the car. they are priceless

26) victorias secret. i love that place. it is so fun hahaha

27) boys boys boys. you drive me crazy but you constantly entertain. thank you for thinking of every stupid thing to possibly do.

28)the park. it lets me get away for about an hour and relax and write and get my thoughts together.

29) fat tuesdays. one day a week where i don't feel bad eating 5,000 calories

30) fruit snacks. they are yummy enough said.

31) raquel. for being my other half.

32) the stars. i love them

33) national parks. i love being in the middle of nowhere.

34)you. for reading this and caring what i have to say.

35)loud music. i love a beat

36) guys sweatshirts. i am obsessed. they are 1000x better than girls sweatshirts. just saying. they are just better

37) rainy days. it gives me an excuse to lay in bed and cuddle all day

38) the chiropractor. for making it so i can walk without being in pain.

39) my boyssss for always having my back and for watching out for me. i love you guys

40)baseball games. i love them i grew up with them i miss them

41)ANGL for constantly supplying me with cute dresses

42)acrylics and red and black nail polish. you make my nails look pretty and that makes me happy

43) cookies. they are fun to make and it relaxes me to make them. idk why but they relieve stress.

44) baths. thank you for making me calm the f*@$ down.

45) books. you inspire me to write

46) holding my hand- i missed that a lot.

47) giving me nights that i will never forget. i couldn't if i tried.

48) spontaneous moments where we burst into song. it makes me smile

49) competition. it keeps things interesting.

50) life. for moving on.

thank you for being my new years kiss

from a while ago

i was going through old pictures and i found this little photo shoot i did at the park with sammi. it was a lot of fun. i love it down there (where we were taking pictures) it was fun. this was one of my favorites. just thought i would share

the famous- miami ink

shoes shoes shoes

i have a problem. i am a compulsive shopper. and i have a shoe collection started. these are a few of the pairs i have. then a whole column thing on the side and the inside corner of my closet. i just love shoes!!! SUE ME

i wish there was an undo button that you could click every time you made a mistake. wouldn't it make life so much easier?? you wouldn't have to deal with as many fights. as much drama. tears. betrayal. accidents. how many times have you said, "it was a mistake" or "i didn't mean to" i bet more than a few times. but then again you learn from your mistakes and they help you remember what to do and what do do.

HAPPY FREAKIN NEW YEAR!!!!

woooohooooo is the end of the decade!!! happy 2011 everyone hope you all had a good night last night and were safe. no drinking and driving i hope. hope you still have confetti in your hair and that you had a wonderful night. good way to kick off 2011 <3

this year i decided that my new years resolution is to not make a new years resolution. because it always gets broken in the first 2 days. i mean really. things like: i am going to stay out of trouble i am going to go to the gym i am going to get straight A's i am going to be nicer i am not going to do this i am not going to do that i am going to lose 25 pounds and be a size 2 again blah blah blah blah blahhhh. who ever really accomplishes it?? i mean seriously. it just disappoints people really. so my new years resolution is to not make any more new years resolutions :)

Friday, December 31, 2010

I never gave you a reason to hate me.

You’re just creating your own little drama of pure insecurity

i wonder how many people wake up tomorrow looking like shit wondering where they are. i'm positive that i am not going to be one of them. have a safe night people!! no drinking and driving <3

for a guy you really are a little bitch. i mean seriously. you whine about being cold and how hungry you are and that your jeans don't fit right. you whine about how long it takes to go places and ask 1000 times why we're doing something. seriously! STOP! it is so annoying- you are a girl.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

and some castles made out of sand will melt into the sea eventually

California: According to Urban Dictionary

California:

1. state that produces more good than anywhere else, has crazy night life, large school, hot women, a load of stuff to do, and the longest beach anyone has ever seen

2. extremely diverse

3. much more entertaining than texas

949:

the area code for south orange county, one of the richest places in the country. also, its a huge bubble and life outside it is "gay" (btw i love here so i have the right to make fun of it)

i live in the 949 and i love listening to music about pain such as my chemical romance and watching shows for 12 year old girls such as the OC.

United States:

If you don't like it, go live in Canada mother fuckers.

Cali:

the name that non-native californian's use when referring to California and trying to seem like a real Californian.

Typical of an East Coaster

Hey, duuuudddess let's go to the shore in Cali, and thrash some waves.

Complicated Starbucks Orders

i'm a starbucks junkie. everyone knows that. its bad. like i seriously have a problem. Venti skinny cinnamon dolce lattes. zebra mochas with a peppermint shot. passion fruit iced tea with raspberry sweetener. toffee mocha frappachinos. you get the idea. its funny when i go in there in the morning and the person behind the counter says "good morning kaitlyn, what would you like today?" and i turn around and look at the guy in the suit behind me whos face is like oh my god are you kidding me? before ordering. but what is the most complicated starbucks order?

"Yes hi I'll have a tall half-skinny half-1 percent extra hot split quad shot (two shots decaf, two shots regular) latte with whip."

"Double Ristretto Venti Nonfat Organic Chocolate Brownie Frappuccino Extra Hot with Foam and Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended."

"Triple Grande 140 degree no foam cinnamon dolce latte with caramel on the whip."

who can come up with the most complicated starbucks order???? maybe you'll win a prize if you come up with a really good one ;)

the talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.

i love having to stand on my tippy toes to kiss you

i want chipotle right now!!!!!!

33 things to do while home alone

1) dance in your underwear

2) sing along to the newest Katy Perry or Justing Beiber song... oh i know its a guilty pleasure of yours

3)take a bath and fill it with lots of bubbles

4) watch the TV show or movie that is your favorite but can't watch because it drives everyone crazy and its always on

5)tan outside without a bathing suit on- you won't have tan lines hehe just make sure your neighbors aren't creepin

6) sing along to an opera and pretend that you are really good

7) do those funny exercise videos in front of the TV the ones about how to do chair dances and sexy yoga are hilarious by the way

8) make your own youtube video- parodies are hilarious. so pick a song and make fun of it or something!!

9) go mattress surfing down your stairs

10) sit in front of your computer and take 100 pictures of yourself until you think you look pretty in one

11) read a magazine that you love but would be too embarrassed to read around anyone else

12) clean out your closet!

13)have a TV marathon and lay in bed all day

14) cook something out of a cook book instead of microwaving. make some fancy dish and enjoy it afterwards

15)make a scrapbook- bet you can't remember all the things that happened in the pictures. try and remember so you have it when you are old

16) read blogs they are a complete waste of time and can be funny

17) impersonate people from the movies you are watching

18) skip around the house singing show tunes and dancing with your dog or something have fun with it!

19)walk around naked.. hey if you're into that kinda thing now is your time because you can't normally do that... i think

20)make cookies then proceed to eat them all. yum yum yum

21)take a quiz and see who you truly are- GOOD way to waste time

22)hey... here's one! READ A BOOK!!!

23) make a playlist of music that makes you happy

24) give yourself a mental health day and get all pretty- do your nails, do your hair, relaxxxx

25) clean something. its a good way to waste time and you are being productive

26) exercise and blast music

27) facebook creep on people and refresh your news feed every 2 seconds

28) prank phone call someone

29) lay out on a raft in the pool, sleep, read a magazine, relax, listen to some music

30) have an art project make something pretttyyyyyy

31) play farmville or something

32) play barbies or legos dont you miss being a kid?

33) see how big of a bubble you can blow with your bubble gum

look outside at all the pretty people walking by

best friends

we hold hands. we tell each other everything. we are constantly together. we share dressing rooms. bathrooms. beds. we ask for advice. hold each other when we cry we kiss each other.we kiss each other just because we can because we are like sisters. we do crazy things. we dance in our underwear. we have "dates" and go do fun things. we act like we love each other. and thats because we do. we are best friends. we might look like lesbians to you but shes my brother from another motherr, my sister <3

cutest thing i've seen in my life

blah blah blahhhh

that's all they were. to kids in love. holding hands and walking towards the setting sun. with no where to go, had no plan in mind. she had a flower behind her ear and there were stars in their eyes. they didn't care where they were going they thought it would all work out. until they figured out what life was all about. they had their fights. they said some things they shouldn't have said. but they kept coming back to the nights in their head where they were sitting in bed and kissing in the rain and waking up and hearing their name and seeing that look in the other one's eyes that made them melt, no need to come to a compromise. so they looked past the fights and things they shouldn't have said and the days she went home and cried the things she words she should have said and the times he forgot to tell her that he loved her. because they were just two kids in love. thought nothing could go wrong. until they came to the end and it all fell apart. and it was the end of the world and nothing really mattered.

saturday night live video. its actually kinda funny hahahhaha

GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH WOMAN!!!

Husband: honey make me a sandwich.
Wife: get it yourself.
Husband: No, i'm watching the game
Wife: get off your lazy ass and make your own damn sandwich
Husband: MAKE ME A SANDWICH WOMAN
Wife: i don't live to please you
Husband: yes you do, you said it at our wedding
Wife: i say a lot of things

relationship status???

i've been thinking about this a lot lately. and i think sometimes way more than one applies. You can be "single" but seeing someone but you aren't official. you can be looking for someone. you can be miserably searching for someone. you could be loving it. you could be screwing every girl in the city. you could be the girl in her bed room listening to taylor swift songs about love dreaming of her favorite boy. and all of those would make you apply to single. You could be in a "relationship" happy. rocky. roller coaster. breaking up. making up. bored. confused. trying to make it work. acting happy but really getting bored while you try and make it work. together but falling apart. head over heels. and still be "in a relationship" but that doesn't say much about the relationship now does it.You could be "engaged" and in love, engaged and confused, engaged wondering what the hell you got your self into. etc. but you are still engaged. you could be "married" as in married on facebook (haha that means nothing), married and in love, married but staying together for the kids,married but always fighting, married and wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, married and wondering how you chose this person, married and wondering how you got so damn lucky to have someone to wake up next to every morning, to hold your hand, to make you breakfast, to grow old with, to see right before you fall asleep and to see when you first open your eyes, someone to walk you through the hard things in life and to never give up on you. It could be "complicated"... one person might be in love the other might not care. just hooking up. starting out but not together yet. the awkward in between relationship phase where its... well... complicated. there aren't set rules yet, there's a lot of confusion, it has its ups and downs, people get hurt, and its a hell of a lot of fun. in an "open relationship" meaning ya we're together but i can fuck whoever i want still. we like being together but i like being able to do what i want and so does he/she. "widowed" could be an old woman or a 20 year old girl who lost the love of her life in an accident or in a war. "separated" meaning i love them. and i'm not ready to lose them. but i need a break. or they need a break. at least for now. maybe forever. "divorced" and happy. sad. lonely. missing them. regretting it. happy to be done with it. empty. you could be "fuck buddies" which literally means hey im bored you're cute lets go. "talking" flirting. crushing. interested. maybe interested. bored. booty call. "kinda talking" meaning off and on. ehh i kinda like them but idk. no sparks yet. getting there. maybe it could be something."something but nothing" meaning i like them he likes me. it can't be something. they won't make a move. they are with someone. it would never work. etc etc etc."confused" confused. confused. confused. sexually? hahaha like gay straight bi? or i dont know what im doing? "leading someone on" meaning i want something. i want you but not really. you are a one time thing. i need a date for something. i'm bored you're fun to talk to. its fun to play with you. im trying to make someone else jealous. i dont want anything serious i just like when you talk dirty. you get the idea. "being led on by someone" oh they like me! and i kinda like them we have a date soon he thinks i'm cute she's into me. "homewrecker" i like him. i can't have him. mmmm i like a challenge. i hate his gf. i just want to get him for the hell of getting him. just to say i did. i'm better than her. its fun. its sneaky. its dirty. its exciting. "mutual understanding" this is what it is. this is how it will be. you good? awesome. "no bf/gf since birth" and sad. devastated. ugly. scared. Mormon. etc. "best friends with benefits" i love you like a sister/ bro but you're fun to have fun with and it works because we know each other so well and we're always together and heck, its fun!! and we're cool so its all good. best friends with benefits that could turn into romance. best friends with benefits that could ruin the relationship. "love triangle" enough said. "exclusively dating" im not ready to call them my bf/gf but we are exclusive and we are happy how it is but we aren't with anyone else. "mistress" that loves the guy, that is having fun, that the wife knows about, that the wife is oblivious about, that he is going to leave his wife for, that is ruining a marriage, that has stolen his heart, that he secretly loves, that he is having sex with because he has a sexless marriage and is getting it somewhere else, that he likes to have fun with because its new and exciting, that everyone but the wife knows about, that secretly fell for him, that doesn't care for him but he fell for her, thats using him, that is falling apart from guilt. "in love" and loved back. unnoticed. loves from afar. fake love. puppy love. in love but broken up. "broken hearted" and with someone, and with someone else to try and forget who broke their heart, alone, trying to get over it, hiding it, but still with the person, forgotten, left behind, shoved aside, cheated on. "bitter" because she has him not you, because he left you, because he is happy and you're not, because you are alone now, because you have been forgotten or shoved aside or walked all over. "forever alone".....

word of the day

grapholagnia

the urge to stare at obscene pictures

too cold to get out of bed

i hate when you're in bed and its like too cold to get up. so im sitting here and i want socks because my feet are so cold but i went to bed in a bandeau and boy shorts and i dont want to get up because its too cold!!!! AHHHHHHH maybe i should just start keeping a sweatshirt and slippers next to my bed for when i sleep because this is no fun. its like the horrible oh my god i really need to go do this, get up, pee, get socks, etc kinda thing but im going to die of frost bite if i get up. fun.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

so this is what it feels like to be living center stage

I'm sorry, i didn't mean to ignore you or anything baby. You didn't do anything wrong. I just don't feel like talking to anyone included you. Maybe i just need some time to get myself back- to live- so i can breathe again because i miss having the feeling that i'm free. So please, i'm begging you. Just leave me alone. I still love you.. i always will. It is impossible for me to fall out of love with you. I can see us growing old together in this house with these kids always looking down at that ring on my finger, smiling because i belong to you. I've always belonged to you. obviously you're sad now, i'm treating you so cold. I don't know why, sometimes i just wanna be alone and wet my eyes, let everything run out from my eyes and hope the next day i will be waking up and see how beautiful life is. And you mean the world to me, but i need some time to be myself and think. I love you with all my heart.

WORD OF THE DAY

cachinnation

loud, hysterical laughter

i wear makeup, so i'm plastic? I speak my mind, so i'm a bitch? I cry, so i'm an attention seeker? I speak to boys, so i'm a slut? I like getting my picture taken, so i love myself? Go on, throw me a label, you'll do it anyway. I don't ignore you, i just don't care for you. I'm not stuck up, i just don't give a fuck. I'm not insecure, I just don't trust any one like you. I'm not perfect and I don't claim to be.

Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.

lets laugh a little bit louder- kiss a little bit longer- smile a little bit bigger- hug a little bit tighter- run a little bit faster- live a little bit longer

Any time you got nothing to do - and lots of time to do it - come on up.

COOOOOOKKKIEEEESSSSSSS

Dear heart,

can you please start communicating better with my head? because i am a little dazed and confused and i keep wondering what do do. and i can't help but slip up. you need to help me with my decision making. but not take over it. i need to think a little bit. it's not ALL about passion and love and emotion and romance... as much as you want to think it is. the truth of the matter is that you cloud my judgement and make me only see my lust my desire my love my hate but don't force me to think about my actions before hand. so can you please speak to my head? every once and a while? it would make this relationship run a lot more smoothly. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Kaitlyn.

“ I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems, or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you; so intimate, that your hand upon my chest is my hand; so intimate that when I fall asleep, your eyes close. ”

~ Gabriel García Márquez, “One Hundred Years of Solitude”