well hello everyone. i just wanted to introduce my new boyfriend... his name is Michael. He is a 32 year old man who is 6'2 with blonde hair, green eyes, tan skin- but he is white- he loves surfing and long walks on the beach as well as going to country concerts with his sister Marie. He went to san diego state university and he wants to be a construction worker/ contractor because it's a real man's job. He has lived in California all his life and loves soccer, baseball, and playing guitar. I met him online at Match.com. Isn't he amazing??? Until i found out he is really a 47 year old mexican with a half shaved head and a rat's tail, brown eyes, brown skin named Migel who enjoys wearing black eye liner, not shaving, smoking pot and getting drunk at the house at the end of the block whenever he feels like it. He doesn't know how to surf and he thinks walking is for weird people.... its because he is fat so he has no energy to walk... he doesn't know what country music is only death metal and he has a sister named merill. not marie. and she looks like snooki. she would be searched if she went to a country concert. He didn't go to college, he has to be in construction to pay the bills for his family who are illegal immigrants from mexico and he doesn't play sports or own a guitar. 

hahaha the things people say on the internet. 

it's amazing what they let kids read now days :p

I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.

 Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology

Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together

Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.

I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.

Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.

He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men

I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...

i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.

Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.

She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.

Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.

my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year

She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am

She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.

Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.

they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..

my beautiful "sister" who i love so much who i got to take pictures of until 5 AM yesterday <3 i will be posting pictures soon!

sushi and asian food sounds amazing right now. end of story.

the awkward moment when a really hot guy with a smokin' body comes up to the machine next to you in the gym and you can't help but casually glance over to get a look at the sexiness getting buff next to you :p

i'm at the point where i just want to throw my middle finger in the air and yell F*#$ the world!!!

driving until i forget what happened. driving until i forget what i said. driving until i forget the chills that still run down my spine. driving until i forget that look in your eyes and the cracked, broken tone to your voice. driving until you are erased from my memory.

dear boy i am beginning to miss for no apparent reason,

i was talking to you today, and you broke my heart all over again. i never knew how lost you were when we were together... but i know now. and i am hitting myself trying to understand why i didn't see it before.. how could i miss something so big when i was with you for so long. i'm wondering if i was really that unobservant and i don't understand how this could have happened.. i should have realized what was going on- i should have helped you stop. i didn't. you never let me know there was a problem. and i just wanted to say that everything you could be is so amazing and i hope that you don't give up because you have potential that a lot of people don't.

-k

no longer knowing what to think and realizing that something you had is now something you've lost- that is the worst feeling in the world.

smiles reflected in our cheap sunglasses we tried on in Urban Outfitters. Yours were Harry Potter style- with large, owl eye rims the color of the salmon old Mr. Wong's counter was selling this morning on 10th street. You grinned, taking my hand in yours and pulling me to look in the mirror. It was truly a beautiful sight, our figures reflected together in a glassy wall. He turned to me and said, "Darling, you look simply ravishing in those glasses." I curtsied, "Oh why thank you Mr. Scott! We do look smashing." He kissed my forehead pulling me towards him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled myself against his chest. All those days around on the playground when we were kids, the callused hands from monkey bars and then wishes made off of stray eyelashes that fell on our cheeks were finally paying off.  

your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer

" sex is full of lies. the body tries to tell the truth- but it's usually too battered with rules to be heard, and bound with pretenses so it can hardly move. we cripple ourselves with lies."

actually, dont remember being born. it must have happened during one of my black outs- jim morrison 

chemistry.