jlskjfdlskdjflksdm

Sometimes i wonder why i didn't walk away and why i stood there and took it. Sometimes i just want to feel pain to know that i am real. to know that i am still here. because no matter what i do everything seems to go wrong- its like a bad dream that everything is falling to pieces and you keep waiting to wake up waiting to wake up... but you never do. And i'm falling and i'm wondering why i let this go on for so long. And how i got so lost somewhere along the way. Sometimes i wonder why the fuck i let you lie to me the way you did- just stand there and tell me what i want to hear when none of it is true. You don't love me... you say i'm unloveable... You tell me that you will be there for me no matter what.. well where were you to hold my hand and tell me if would be okay... that everything would work out fine. Right now i just need a hug and that numb feeling that has slowly began to fade.