the 90's were not a good decade...

In 99 Big L. Died

In 98 Fat Pat Died

In 97 Biggie Smalls Died

In 96 Tupac Died

In 95 Eazy-E died

In 94 Justin Beiber was born

i know that it's pathetic to be missing you and me when me and you were only me and you for a few seconds. a few moments in time that i wouldn't give up for the world. 

what's popular isn't always right and what's right isn't always popular

i took the CHASEE last Tuesday and Wednesday. The math that was on it was from like 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade... too bad we aren't learning that in high school math! i dont know how the hell to do area and percents and to calculate slopes and shit. its like from when we were little shouldn't you be giving us algebra or something that we would at least know?? the english was super easy though. such a waste of my time. give it to the kids in 8th grade and they can pass high school

oh my god- he's like a little mini teddy bear@!@$*&# i want him 

you have no idea how broken i am right now. but it doesn't matter because you laugh while i cry. you are out having the time of your life while im still all choked up inside. and i dont know where me and you went. i dont know where the love has gone. 

stop bitching about how much you hate your life- at least you're alive. 

no one cares if you are mad at your parents. no one cares if the boy you like doesn't like you. no one cares if you are sad. no one cares if you and your best friend get in a fight. no one cares that you got an F on your english test or that you got a ticket because you were driving too fast. no one cares about how drunk you got or who you hooked up with. no one cares if you get grounded. no one cares if you like someone. no one cares if you got a new really cute shirt. no one cares when you are whining about how cold it is or how hungry you are. no one cares because it is annoying. and honestly- 80% of the people are glad you have problems and the other 20% dont really care- at all. so you are not doing yourself any favors. you could be dead. you could not be here so stop complaing how much you hate your life and just live your life. be happy for god's sake. because im sick of hearing you bitch when you have it so good. you aren't a starving child in africa, you have a house, you have a place to sleep, you are getting an education, you have money, etc etc etc. so you've got it good. you have clean water to drink and you have a family. look at all the people that don't even have that and then ask if i feel bad for you.

Even if i tried to put myself in that kid's shoes, i wouldn't fit, because my steps have too much pride to fit in his small feet.

i want one.

dear heart-

i would like to leave you. but i can't because you make all my decisions. you are fogging up the process of things. i can't choose what's right. what's wrong. i can't decide what makes things the way they need to be. i can only decide what i want. it is all your fault.

love-

brain

eat cake. it makes everything better. or at least that's what paula dean says about butter?

i keep reaching. i keep waiting. i keep dreaming. hardly breathing. i keep wishing. i keep missing. missing you in my arms. 

we fear violence less than our own feelings. personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict.

ya... i am never going to be this tan. ever. i am going to be albino for the rest of my life.

i never loved you i loved the man i thought you were.

i want starbucks. NOW.

the film with the most kisses is Don Juan (1926) in which John Barrymore and Mary Astor shared 127 kisses. The film with the longest kiss is Andy Warhol's 1963 film Kiss. The 1961 film Splendor in the Grass, with Natalie Wood and Warren Beatty, made history for containing Hollywood's first French Kiss.

fight me.

"blake said that the body was the soul's prison unless the five senses are fully developed and open. he considered the senses the 'windows of the soul.' when sex involves all the senses intensely, it can be like a mystical experience." - Jim Morrison

lady gaga needs to be institutionalized.

I’m back home and i’m bored

[] i have/had piercings besides the ears.
[x]i want piercings besides the ears.
[x] i have scars.
[] i tan easily.
[x] i wish my hair was a different color.
[] i have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] i have a tattoo.

[x] i want a tattoo/s.
[x] i can be self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] i have/had braces.
[] i have more than two piercings.

embarrassment
[] disney movies still make me cry.
[x] i’ve laughed so hard i’ve cried.
[x] i’ve glued my hand to something. (super glue is evil...)
[] i’ve laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[] i’ve had my pants rip in public.
[x] i’ve touched something sharp/hot/etc to see if it would hurt.

health
[] i’ve gotten stitches.
[] i’ve broken a bone.
[] i’ve had my tonsils removed.
[] i’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] i’ve had serious surgery.
[] i’ve had chicken pox.

[x] i've gotten a concussion

travel
[x] i’ve been to florida.
[x] i’ve driven/ridden over 200 miles in one day.
[x] i’ve been on a plane.
[x] i’ve been to canada.
[] i’ve been to cuba.
[] i’ve been to niagara falls.
[] i’ve been to ottawa.
[] i’ve been to the caribbean.
[] i’ve been to europe.

experiences
[] i’ve gotten lost in my city.
[x] i’ve seen a shooting star.
[x] i’ve wished on a shooting star.
[x] i’ve seen a meteor shower.
[x] i’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] i’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] i’ve slapped someone.
[x] i’ve kissed someone underwater.
[x] i’ve gone skinny-dipping.
[x] i’ve chugged something.
[] i’ve been skiing.
[] i’ve been in a musical.
[x] i’ve auditioned for something.
[x] i’ve been on stage.
[] i’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[x] i’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
[x] i’ve pranked someone.
[x] i’ve ridden in a taxi.

honesty/crime
[] i’ve been arrested.
[x] i’ve done something i promised someone i wouldn’t.
[x] i’ve done something i promised myself i wouldn’t.
[x] i’ve lied about my whereabouts.

[x] i’ve been cheated on

[x] i’ve been the other girl/guy

[x] i’ve cheated while playing a game.

death
[x] i’m afraid of dying.
[] i hate funerals.
[x] i’ve seen someone/something die.
[x] someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.
[] i’ve written a eulogy for myself.

materialism
[x] i own over 5 rap cds.
[] i’m obsessed with anime/manga.
[] i collected comic books.
[x] i own a lot of makeup.
[x] i own something from pac sun.
[x] i own something from the gap.
[] i own something i got on e-bay.
[x] i own something from abercrombie.

[x] i own something from Coach

[x] i own something from Urban Outfitters

[] i own something from Dolce & Gabbana

[x] i own something from BCBG

[] i own something from Chloe

[x] i own something from Victoria's secret
[x] i thrive on compliments.
[] i thrive on hate.

random
[x] i’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[] i open up to others easily.
[] i watch the news.
[x] i don’t kill bugs/don’t like to kill them.
[] i’m a morning person.
[] i’m a sports fanatic.
[x] i twirl my hair.
[x] i care about grammar.
[] i love spam.
[] i’ve copied more than 30 cds in a day.
[x] i bake well.
[x] i have worn pajamas to school.
[] i like martha stewart.
[] i laugh at my own jokes.
[] i’ve not turned anything in and still got an a in a certain class.
[] i can’t sleep if there’s a spider in the room.
[x] i’m really ticklish.
[x] i like white chocolate.
[x] i bite my nails.
[x] i’m good at remembering faces.
[x] i’m good at remembering names.
[/] i’m good at remembering dates.
[/] i have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] all my answers were and will be totally honest.

family
[x] i’ve sworn at my parents.
[x] i’ve planned to run away from home before.
[] i’ve run away from home.
[x] my biological parents are together.
[] i have a sibling less than one year old.
[] i’ve had kids.
[] i’ve lost a child.

relationships
[x] i’m single.
[] i’m in a relationship.
[] i’m engaged.
[] i’m married.
[] i’m a swinger.
[] i’ve gone on a blind date.
[x] i have/had a friend with benefits.
[x] i’ve hooked up with someone in little or no notice.
[x] i miss someone right now.
[] i have a fear of abandonment.
[x] i’ve mentally cheated in a relationship.
[] i’ve gotten divorced.
[x] someone has had feelings for me when i didn’t have them back.
[] i’ve told someone i loved them when i didn’t.
[x] i’ve told someone i didn’t love them when i did.
[x] i’ve kept something from a past relationship.

sexuality
[x] i’m a cuddler.
[x] i’ve been kissed in the rain.
[x] i’ve hugged a stranger.
[x] i’ve kissed a stranger.

bad times
[x] i’ve consumed alcohol.
[] i can’t swallow pills.
[x] i can swallow numerous pills at a time without difficulty.
[] i have/had anxiety problems.
[x] i shut others out when i’m upset.
[x] i don’t have anyone to talk to when i’m upset.
[] i take anti-depressants.
[x] i’ve slept an entire day before.
[x] i’ve woken up crying.
[x] i’ve cried myself to sleep.
[] i’ve plotted revenge.

i’ve done
[] weed
[] diet pills
[] ecstasy
[] lsd
[] mushrooms
[] speed
[] cocaine
[x] i keep my habits a secret.
[] i have a diet blog.
[x] my choices are for me.
celebrities

[] i am obsessed with justin beiber

[x] i used to love britany spears

[x] i have had a crush on a celebrity (when i was little)

[x] john mayer is sexy

[] i love lady gaga

[x] lady gaga is crazy 

[] i have stalked a celebrity

[x] i hate miley cyrus

[] i love miley cyrus

[x] too many celebrities have major issues 

an ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.

hororificabilitudinitatibus 

the long word was coined by shakespeare which means 'the state of being able to achieve honors'

do you see how gorgeous the sky is right now?

a stereotype

i'm gorgeous so i must not be a virgin. i'm a lesbian, so i must have a sex tape. i speak my mind, so i must be a bitch. i'm a girl who actually eats lunch, so i must be fat. i have a bunch of guy friends, so i must be doing them all. i wear skirts a lot, so i must be a slut. i'm a cheerleader, so i must be a whore. i fell in love with a married man, so i must be a home-wrecking whore. i'm a teenage  mom, so i must be an irresponsible slut. i have big boobs, so i must be a hoe. i'm a virgin, so i must be prude. i'm skinny, so i must be anorexic. i'm a black woman with 3 children, so they all must have different dads. i'm an atheist, so i must hate the world. i'm rich, so i'm a conceited snob. i'm muslim, so i must be covered up at all times. i'm into theater and art, so i must be a homosexual. i'm young, so i must be naive. i dress in unusual ways, so i must be looking for attention. i'm indian, so i must own a convenience store. i'm german, so i must be a nazi. i'm christian, so i hate homosexuals. i'm asian, so i mist be a nerd that does homework 24/7. i'm Jamaican, so i must smoke weed. i'm mexican, so i must have hopped the border.

you could go on for days about this and everyone knows it. our community lives so much off of stereotypes. its the way of life. and it is wrong. we all know it is.

because the truth is if you love a person, if you really truly love them, no matter how bad they hurt you, or how mad they make you, you will always take them back.

i really want to go to chipotle right now!! i want a barbacoa bowl with extra rice cheese and hot salsa. yummmm oh my god i want that so bad you have no idea.

awkward turtlese

oh my god. i want this turtle. i would just put it in my pocket and carry it around with me all the time and pet it and let it walk around it would be like my mini dinosaur turtle animal that never grew up. i would want to name him jerry- or maybe i would name him Kronk like the baby turtle in finding nemo... i think that was his name or something??? or maybe that was the big muscly guy from emperor's new kronk groove? I remember that show from when i'm little. haha idk but i love this turtle.

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

do not kiss in hallways. people will whisper and giggle and look at you when you walk by. do not kiss in a movie. old people might look at you like you are doing something wrong- even though they were doing the exact same thing 20 years back. do not kiss at home. mommy and daddy might see. don't kiss at a party. someone might call you a slut. don't kiss ever. kissing is for whores. haha just kidding. who gives a fuck what people think.

Here’s a condom. Since you’re acting like a dick, you should dress like one.

LOOK MOMMY! SHE LOOKS LIKE BARBIE!

Okay, so i am at the grocery store. I am in my pajamas. I came for poptarts okay? And this lady is walking next to me. And she is blonde. Like blonde blonde. Like oh my god did you buy that out of a box? blonde. Like blonder than Gaga blonde. And she's got on her Juicy sweats. Pink. Of course. And the crop top. thats pink too. Belly button piercing. Fake tan. Like oh my god? did you mean to look that orange? you look like a fucking oompa loompa! tan. Stomach showing. Major cleavage with the leopard straps. Like did you buy a fucking bombshell bra from victoria's secret? status.  Did you want to have your boobs go up to your neck? Watch she probably did. shes probably like an A or a B and now she's a D because of that bra or she got a boob job. That's probably it. So in that case. Shes like a triple E. She's got the huge glossy lips. Injected? The perfect nose. Where'd you get it done? The dark eye shadow with the liquid eye liner to give her cat eyes. The huge diamond earrings and the cute little tiffanys bracelet with her wedding ring. I have money. Can you tell? She's on her iphone talking in a very fake, annoying voice. She turns around. Juicy written in rhinestones on her ass. Little girl walks by. "Mommmy! Look! SHE LOOKS LIKE BARBIE! BUT SHE'S OLD!" Way to try and be a MILF. You failed miserably.

elephants. Buddha's bellies. rabbits feet. four leaf clovers. ladybugs. horseshoes. dragonflies. agate stones... i'm losing track of all these good luck charms.

i honestly feel prettier with painted nails- does that make me weird??

it's sad to think that once i meant so much to you but now i mean absolutely nothing. you have the memories but that is all. there was no gain. there was ruin. and i'm just starting to realize how much i actually messed up and how much i actually do still want you here.

i wanna pet a stingray! that looks fun haha

i had no reason to walk away from you. i just did because i didn't know what else to do. so i'm sitting on the edge of the road now with the keys in the ignition trying to decide if i should go back, or if i should just drive. James Taylor's voice croons on the radio. I had to escape the suffocating sensation, the angry mouth and hell bound eyes. Cancerous words for a relationship. you had me boxed in- unable to say the words that lusted on my lips. You were nothing but trouble in the life of a little girl.  

thank you for being my knight in shining armor. thank you for being my husband and letting me be your wife when we played house and pretending to eat the plastic food i handed you on a plastic plate with no fork no knife no spoon. thank you for chasing me around the playground and teaching me how to throw a football. thank you for letting me sit in the stands and cheer you on at the baseball game you were pitching in when you were 12. thank you for pulling my hair and for the callused hands from swinging on monkey bars and the bandaids of my youth. thank you for the eyelashes you made me wish on when one fell on my cheek. thank you for getting that bee out of my hair and for sharing your lady bugs with me. thank you for making mud pies in the backyard and for racing your new two wheel bike around the street, but slowing down when i came because i still had my training wheels. thank you for giving me your heart and trusting me not to break it and holding my hand when i was sad. thank you for telling me it would be okay if i got hurt or if i was just sad for the day. thank you for sharing your crayons with me and coming and seeing movies with me and going to baseball games together when we were so little and for being my little boyfriend- my first boyfriend. thank you for the grass stained  jeans and making me laugh until i couldn't breathe and the days where we ate powdered sugar doughnuts off strings on the playground and were in the 3 piggy opera together. thank you for being my first real friend. you will last forever.